Sun: Anyone else thinking about dick?

Ooga:All the time

Teela: Oh, well being an asexual I ACTUALLY think about REAL things like SCIENCE.

Sun: Literally no one asked

Ooga: She’s saying dick ain’t real?

Teela: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.

Toola: I did. I broke it…

Teela: No. No, you didn’t. Ooga?

Ooga: Don’t look at me. Look at Klik.

Klik: What?! I didn’t break it.

Ooga: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Klik: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Ooga: Suspicious.

Klik: No, it’s not!

Booga: If it matters, probably not… Kinsee was the last one to use it.

Kinsee: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Booga: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Kinsee: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Booga!

Toola: Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Teela.

Teela: No. Who broke it?

Ooga [whispering] Teela, Newbie’s been awfully quiet…

Newbie: Really?!

Ooga: Yeah, really!

*everyone starts arguing*

…

Teela: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Ooga: Anyone under 5’5” can’t talk about fighting someone. Like, what are you gonna do? Headbutt someone in the gut?

Newbie: Say goodbye to your kneecaps, asshole.

Ooga: What the fuck was that?


Newbie: It was me! Newbie!


Ooga: Holy shit is that a fucking gremlin?


Newbie: No?? I’m just small!


Ooga: Whatever, just don’t feed that fucking thing after midnight!