Tag: newbie

Klik: *breathes*

Newbie: 💖💖💖❣❣💟💌❤❤💝💝😍💓❤❤💜💜💙💜🌠💙💖😍💚💖❤💕💟❤🌠💕💕💙💓💕❤💖💘💖💋💖💋💗💖💞💗💞💗💚💟💟❣💝💟❤💌🌠💝💕💖💘💟❣💖😍💋💖💘😍💖💋💖😍💋💖💘💖❤💕❤💕💕💓❣❣💟💟💕💓💕💝💌💛💝💝💛🌠💚💝💌💚🌠💝💙💞🌠💞😍

Klik: How the fuck did you say that out loud?

Newbie: I may be short… but that doesn’t mean I’m innocent. [aggressively tries to open caprisun]

Klik:

Klik: … need any help with that.

Newbie: [softly] Yes please.

Ooga, gushing over his boyfriend: Gods Klik is so-

Newbie: Gorgeous

Ooga: Yeah….

Newbie:

Ooga:

Newbie:

Ooga:…Wait

Ooga: Say shit like that again and I’ll kick your teeth in

Newbie: I don’t have time for romance. I don’t see how someone can turn into a complete idiot when someone gives them attention. Like, they didn’t kiss or anything. Don’t be a little bitch, just stay calm. Love is so overrated.

Klik *smiles and waves*: Hi Newbie

Newbie *internally*: FUCKIUNGFIUCKWHATISTHISFEELINGWHATISLIFEHTHEYSMILEDATME ARETHEYGONNAPROPOSETOMELIKEBITCHIDOLOOKATTHATFACEGODSDIDAGREATJOBONYOUPERFECTIONTAKEMEANDFUCKMESILLYYOUARETOOPRECIOUSFORTHISWORLDANDIWILLSLAPABITCHWHOHURTSYOUI LOVEFROMTHEMOONTOTHESTARS.

Newbie *externally*: Klik

Ooga: I love Halloween, it’s the one time of year when you can be whatever you wanna be!

Klak: I’ll never be able to be what I wanna be

Ooga:

Ooga: I’m gonna be a sexy nurse!

——————————————————

Klik: *walks by and waved at Ooga and Newbie* Hey

Newbie: Oh my gods he is so hot!

Ooga: *gives him a dirty look* That’s my ex-boyfriend

Newbie: Oh….so he’s single then right?

——————————————————

Toola: So, if you were a candy, what would you be and why?

Newbie: I’d be black licorice because nobody likes me

Toola:

Toola: I’m sure someone does! Who’s next?

Judge: Does the defendant have any special requests?

Newbie: Death Penalty

Klik, from the gallery: Newbie, it’s just a parking ticket

Newbie *leans forward til his lips are on the mic*: please kill me

Teela: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.

Toola: I did. I broke it…

Teela: No. No, you didn’t. Ooga?

Ooga: Don’t look at me. Look at Klik.

Klik: What?! I didn’t break it.

Ooga: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Klik: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Ooga: Suspicious.

Klik: No, it’s not!

Booga: If it matters, probably not… Kinsee was the last one to use it.

Kinsee: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Booga: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Kinsee: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Booga!

Toola: Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Teela.

Teela: No. Who broke it?

Ooga [whispering] Teela, Newbie’s been awfully quiet…

Newbie: Really?!

Ooga: Yeah, really!

*everyone starts arguing*

…

Teela: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Ooga: Anyone under 5’5” can’t talk about fighting someone. Like, what are you gonna do? Headbutt someone in the gut?

Newbie: Say goodbye to your kneecaps, asshole.

Ooga: What the fuck was that?


Newbie: It was me! Newbie!


Ooga: Holy shit is that a fucking gremlin?


Newbie: No?? I’m just small!


Ooga: Whatever, just don’t feed that fucking thing after midnight!