Tag: Pocket God

Ooga: Wax on…

Klik: You’re not

Ooga: Wax off…

Klik: Filming me cleaning the toilet need to fuck off

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Ooga: I’ll give you a nickel *holds up a nickwl*..if you…tickle…my pickle

Klik, turns around and slaps it out of Ooga’s hand: Stop

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(Michael Jackson’s Thriller)

Ooga: Klik Klik…

*Klik mutters incoherent disagreements to Ooga*

Ooga: Klik Klik

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(huge piles of clothes)

Ooga: Are you ever gonna fold that?

*They both laugh as Klik throws a piece of clothing at him*

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Ooga: Don’t drink that!

*Klik gives him an annoyed look as he drinks his pop*

Ooga: It has…artificial sweetenerrrrrr

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*Klik pretending not to hear him*

Ooga: Klik I know you can hear me

Ooga: Are the paper towels gluten free?

*Klik stops what he is doing and glares at Ooga*

Ooga: Are they?

Klik: Semen is gluten-free too

Ooga: What the fuck…

*They both wheeze*

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Ooga: Klik!

*Klik turns his head to look at Ooga*

Ooga: I can tell you’ve been eating…Booty O’s…

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Ooga: Hey babe you wanna hit up a Starbucks and get a mocha choca bullshit before we good to toys r us?

Klik: You’re not cool…

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Ooga: Klik make sure you finish your protein shake

*Klik rolls his eyes*

Ooga: Your muscles need it…to repair

*Klik has a disgusted look on his face but laughs*

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*Klik is fixing his hair*

Ooga: Klik! What’s taking so long? You were supposed to be ready 20 minutes ago…

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*Klik is making some kind of dessert*

Ooga: Same some of that chocolate sauce for later in the bedroom…

Klik: You’re so gross

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Ooga: I believe I asked for a sandwich…

*Klik cuts a hot dog in half*

Not a hot dog

Klik: If you don’t leave me alone I’m shoving this hot dog up your ass

*Ooga is scared and slightly turned on*

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*Ooga is doing something stupid or being annoying*

Klik: Ooga come on…*kicks Ooga in the butt*

Klik: Aghhhh!

Ooga: Klik!

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*Klik rolls over then frowns*

Ooga: I see you’re awake

Klik: Fuck off

Ooga: If you’re ready for round two…

Klik: You better get the fuck away from me, I’m serious

Ooga: I am

Nox: Now, gentlemen, we’re not gonna sit here and pretend there’s not a big assed elephant in the room. *Glares at Ooga*

Booga: What the fuck is going on?

Nox: *Shows a picture of Klik and Ooga making out* This is what the fuck is going on.

Booga: *looks at the photo then at Ooga for a moment before realizing what’s happened* Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! No! That is not happening right now! No!

Booga: *goes into the main area and announces to everyone* Hey, y’all he’s fucking Klik! Yo! Oh, my fuck!

Nox: *Glare intensifies* Every time he say that shit, that’s another foot in your ass!

Booga:*Returns* Ooga, you clearly… *he slams against the glass walls* Yo, this is the best thing ever! *he laughs and runs around and is yelling*

Booga, chanting: Ooga fucked Klik! Ooga fucked Klik! Ooga fucked Klik!

Booga: Shit! Fuck! You fucked Klik, who is basically Nox’s son? Nox? What the fuck? You bragged to their face! To their actual face. Nox! Do you understand that this face… *pointing to Nox’s cold angry face* … right here! You bragged to that face!

Booga: You actually high-fived Ooga for fucking your son? Holy Shit! Oh, my God! This is…

Nox: *Glares at Booga*

Booga: It’s really not that funny

Klik: *breathes*

Newbie: 💖💖💖❣❣💟💌❤❤💝💝😍💓❤❤💜💜💙💜🌠💙💖😍💚💖❤💕💟❤🌠💕💕💙💓💕❤💖💘💖💋💖💋💗💖💞💗💞💗💚💟💟❣💝💟❤💌🌠💝💕💖💘💟❣💖😍💋💖💘😍💖💋💖😍💋💖💘💖❤💕❤💕💕💓❣❣💟💟💕💓💕💝💌💛💝💝💛🌠💚💝💌💚🌠💝💙💞🌠💞😍

Klik: How the fuck did you say that out loud?

Newbie: so basically, what is was thinking is –

Kinsee: *punches him*

Newbie: ah fuck, i can’t believe you’ve done this

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Kinsee, watching Ooga and Booga: two bros, chillin in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they’re not gay

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Teela: is there anything better than pussy? yes, a really good book *piano chord*

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Neeboo: i should’ve left you on that street corner where you stood

Newbie: but ya didn’t

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Ooga: hey Klik you think i can get this egg into that jar without it cracking

Klik: no

Ooga, throwing the egg full force at Klik: i guess you’re right

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The tribe, watching Newbie and Ooga fight: can i get a waffle. can i please get a waffle

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Linsee: jello? more like hello *chokes on the jello*

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Klak, skating in on wheelies: good evening

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Nooby, buried in sand: i am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand

Ooga: POSEIDON QUIVERS BEFORE HIM

Nooby to the ocean: fuck off!

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Moon: don’t fuck with me. i have the power of God and anime on my side. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Teela: toss me my keys

Linsee: *throws a printer at him*

Teela: i said keys

Linsee: i thought you said printer!

Teela: why the f u c k would I say printer!?

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Dooby: if i had a penny for every time i wasn’t cool, i’d have no pennies

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Ooga: who’s the hottest uber driver you’ve ever had

Toola: um, i never went to oovo javer

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Nooby: saw you hanging out with Klik yesterday

Ooga: No-Nooby, it’s not what you think!

Nooby: i won’t hesitate, biTCH

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Kinsee: yo, what’s the scoop?

Sun, biking up: penis

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Newbie to Klik: other guys’ll just feed you lines. but i’ll take you to mickey-deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!

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Neeboo to Newbie: you ready to fuckin’ die?

Newbie: i’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me

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Booga: people are constantly asking me “what’s it like to be a se- *slips and bangs his head hard*

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Nooby: i’m sucking my own dick and dying

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Sun: and they were roommates

Moon: oh my god they were roommates

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Sun to Nooby: if your name is Nooby, and you’re really handsome, c’mon raise your hand

Nooby: *bashfully raises his hand*

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Kinsee: hey, i’m lesbian

Booga: i thought you were american

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Sun: hey Ooga

Ooga: sup bitch

Sun: haha stop

Ooga: bitch

Sun: SFISJOAIFJSOIF UGH

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Booga: oh sorry i fell asleep while i was waiting on you to make me a sandwich

Kinsee: go back to sleep and starve

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Toola: hey say “who want lasagna”

Teela: who want lasagn- *runs into the kitchen counter*

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Klik: you know, sometimes i think to myself “what are you waiting for you dumb stupid fuck”

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Moon: go suck a dick! suck a dick! suck a dick! suck a motherfucking dick

Linsee: suck a dick! suck a huge or small dick

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Nooby: i don’t know what fuck just happened, but i don’t really care, imma get the fuck up outa here, fuck this shit i’m out

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Dooby: before i die, i’m gonna finish a chapstick without loosing it

Dooby, two hours later: i lost that motherfucker

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Linsee: two shots of vodka…*pours the whole bottle in*

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Booga: hey how much you pay for that taco

Newbie: hey you know this boy’s got his free taco *slips, falls, and drops the taco*

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Sun: hey do you want to go out to eat

Toola: no, i don’t really want to

Linsee: you’re right, why would we go out when we have

Sun, Linsee, and Toola: canned soup

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Linsee: i’m washing me and my clothes, bitch

Teela: she’s drunk as fuck…

Linsee: i’m washing me AND my clothes

Klik: Just be yourself

Newbie: Be myself? Klik, I don’t have a lot of time. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Klak: Six months

Booga: Couple of years

Sun: Jury’s still out

Ooga: I will never like you

Newbie: See, Klik? “Be myself” What kind of garbage advice is that?